“Honey, I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that.”
“Well, can you just . . . hold him . . . no, like, his head. There.”
“Oops. Sorry.”
“Uh, okay, I guess I can . . . fix the other . . .”
“Maybe you should do it with him sitting up instead of lying down.”
“Maybe you should try it for ten seconds and then tell me how I should do it.”
“Here, I’ve got him now.”
“Honey, he’s crying. I don’t think you should hold his neck like that.”
“Well, he keeps moving!”
“Um . . . maybe Isaac can entertain him enough to keep him still.”
“Aaaaaaaaaamos! Amos, look over here! NO! I mean, over here!”
“Okay, Isaac, you clap while I hold his ear.”
“Can you bend him down a lit– . . . never mind.”
“OH, NO, Amos, DON’T . . . okay, no, go ahead. It’s okay.”
“Maybe we should finish it up when he falls asleep.”
“There’s just that ONE little lock I think I can get . . . if he would . . . well, that’s not . . . awful.”
“Mom, it really doesn’t look so good.”
“You should see how yours looked the first time I cut it. You should be grateful for non-digital cameras.”
“That’s okay. We’ll just tell people Theo did it.”
“No one would believe him if he denied it.”