May 3, 2013

  • Your Professor Is Not Customer Service

    It’s the end of the semester, and along with the mad rush of finals grading comes the mad rush of emails begging for grades.

    Someone once upon a time told my students “It couldn’t hurt to ask.”

    Well, guess what, Skippy.  Yes it can.

    See, this ain’t my first rodeo.  And all the students that have come before you have tried the same nonsense and have clued me in to how it works.

    Also, I have children.  Boys.  I’m not an idiot.

    See, there was this girl who told me she needed an A from me, because otherwise she wouldn’t get to student-teach (:sob:) and then she would have to spend an extra semester in school to bring her grade up (:sob:) and she just couldn’t afford that so she would have to drop out of school (:wail:).

    I declined to raise her grade and suggested she speak with a financial aid counselor to figure out how she could afford to stay in school, because (:sympathetic look:) school is expensive, but it usually turns out to be a good investment.

    Guess who I saw the very next semester? Regularly entering a classroom just down the hall from mine?

    I always wondered whether she’d persuaded some other teacher to boost her grade or whether she was just a lying liar who lied.  I never wondered whether she actually followed my advice–that would be, like, crazy.

    I had another kid beg me not to get him thrown out of school by reporting his plagiarism.

    He didn’t get thrown out.  He was not remotely in danger of being thrown out.  I don’t think he was a lying liar who lied; I think he was just afraid that if one professor caught him in his habitual pattern of cheating, some other professors might catch on.  (To my knowledge, no one ever did.)

    I’m not cynical or jaded or bitter.  I don’t think all students are lying liars who lie.

    I’ve had some students in very messy, very difficult, very painful situations who–get this–get their work done anyway.  Some of them never even tell me about their difficulties.  I find out from other students.

    I’ve had some students who take responsibility for their academic integrity violations with a maturity that stuns me . . . and then go on to be some of the strongest, most engaged students in the class.

    I even had a student who dropped my class rather than take the grade hit that a minor integrity violation entailed, but as I was signing his drop form, he said, “Will you be teaching next semester?  I can’t let this tank my GPA, but I really want to take your class.”

    (Maybe he was just a lying liar who was lying, too.  Maybe he just wanted to know so that he could *avoid* me.  But he seemed genuinely disappointed when I said not.)

    So it’s not cynicism or burnout or apathy or even stubbornheaded bitchiness that makes me hold the line against all these beggars and and pleaders and importuners.  It’s a matter of respect for all those students who comport themselves with a little more dignity.  And an expression of hope–that encountering someone who genuinely wants the best for them, and is willing to tell them no to help them get it, will help them achieve adulthood before it’s too late.

Comments (3)

  • When I saw the title I thought of how Your Elementary Teacher is Not Customer Service: I have no band-aids, cough drops, or lip balm. I’ll replace the class box of tissues when I am ready. You know where the extra pencils and paper are kept. Look around – I’m sure you can find a chair. No, you do not get candy for answering a question or doing your work. That is stuff you are supposed to do. I pick the reward, not you. You lost some recess time due to your mis-behavior? Too bad, I’m not ‘fixing’ that for you. Yes, you do have to retake the spelling test – you failed it. No, you may not retake the spelling test – you got a 98 and your over-all grade is an A+.

    But I haven’t been asked to fix anyone’s grade, not even by parents. It’s all the little things in their lives that they want me to fix.

  • Elementary school is becoming such a strange place.
    I’m sorry you have to deal with that sort of nonsense.

  • @scsours - Oh, it’s not as bad as all that. Just a bit trying at times.

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